What I Learned from My 49th Year of Vision Quest

Studying, teaching, and practicing shamanic wisdom, working with nature, and plant spirit medicine, I carry on a lineage passed on to me through Indigenous elders who reached out to me. The Vision Quest tradition is a powerful rite of passage I am grateful to share each year, this year, what I learned from my 49th year of Vision Quest.

“Do you want some medicine?” the frog asked the mouse. “Then crouch down as low as you can and jump as high as you can.” Jumping Mouse did as he was instructed, goes the story in Cheyenne writer Hyemeyohsts Storm’s classic book, Seven Arrows.

Jumping Mouse crouched. He jumped. The wind caught him and carried him higher. “Do not be afraid. Hang on the the Wind and Trust!” said the frog."

I had my trust muscle worked really hard when up to a few days before this 49th year of leading Vision Quest was about to start—I still did not have a site to go to. Given our new home in Southern California and the impacts of climate change, I tried to find a questing site closer to Santa Barbara than my usual sites over the years out of Tuolumne Meadows in Yosemite High Country. I was limited to trying to find one without being able to explore it physically because of a damaged ankle hurting from an earlier exploration when my foot slipped off a rock trying to cross a river in the Matillija Canyon without getting wet. My leg slammed into the water jamming several feet down into the river bed stopping my fall. No broken bones but severely sprained ankle so I couldn’t walk more than a few steps.

On top of that, one prospective site after another literally washed out when roads up into the mountains were closed due to landslides and flooding. Each failure led to increasing stress as the date got closer and closer and still no site. Every day, there was more desperation in my prayers to Kayumari Deer Spirit to be led to a site that worked for our needs. Anxiety, fear, what if I had to cancel it with people flying in from the east coast and driving down from SF? Ahhh! No!

Give thanks to Kayumari for bringing in the perfect place even though you don’t know where it will be. Keep giving thanks and stay strong in faith that it is on its way! This said the wisdom voice. Two days before folks were to arrive, a doorway opened for a quest site on private land just outside of Joshua Tree National Monument. No one lived on the land but the owners had allowed it to be used for thirty years of Native American Church Ceremonies, sweat lodge ceremonies and even some Huichol ceremony. After talking with the owner I got her OK and wow, huge relief and gratitude! Finally, I could look forward to the adventure of exploring and learning about a new area to see what medicine teachings and power it might hold.

The site was perfect for me because we could drive our cars down five miles of dirt road, park and walk a hundred yards to a ceremonial fire pit with access to water so I didn’t have to try and backpack in somewhere on an injured ankle that was hurting. Praise be.

I loved being back again in the kind of high desert I first saw when I was five years old. My mother had moved my sister and I to LA two years after my dad died to live with my grandparents. One of the first places we visited soon after arriving was Palm Springs. Imagine what those big open spaces looked to a kid from the sidewalks and skyscrapers of New York City. The high desert was to play a significant role in my growth when I spent time at medicine man Rolling Thunder’s community, Meta Tantay, which means “go in peace” in Chumash, outside of Carlin, Nevada for my first in-depth immersion in Native American spirituality over fifty years ago. It was here that I first learned the Chumash Welcome Song that I sing at retreats and quests and in my daily prayers starting each day.

A quote from Jeremy Lent in his book The Web of Meaning, perfectly addresses why I go on quest, and have gone, for forty-nine years: "We need to wake up and understand our collective identity and change the lens by which we see the world.”

Immersing in a setting of beauty and power in the the natural world, sleeping on Mother Earth, the sky above, fasting in solitude for several days and nights, being threshed by wind, weather, physical suffering and uninterrupted time for introspection, along with sharing time with other questers for ceremony around Grandfather Fire, helps me change my lens to see wider, deeper, clearer and gain wisdom gifts that emerge from a state of humility, receptivity, patience and attention to all that occurs.

Storm speaks about the Medicine Wheel and how each of us has a beginning place on the wheel through our birth which gives us our most natural way of perceiving and understanding.

• Mouse People in the South see and feel with innocence only what is right there in front of or below them. They see the small and close vision.

• Bear People in the West see through introspection and intuition, gifts of the Looks Within Place.

• Buffalo People in the North see and understand with the mind, thinking and reflecting about things.

• Eagle People in the East see the far and wide, the larger vision, with illumination.

No one way is better than the other. All are needed if one seeks to walk in balance and wholeness understanding other ways of seeing and knowing then the one you were born into. The vision quest is an opportunity to travel around the Medicine Wheel to experience and learn of the other ways along with the medicine power that comes from below, Mother Earth, and above, Father Sky, along with the power in the center from which all the other medicine ways come from, the Source, Great Spirit.

My questing time always brings new assignments and the opportunity to review the assignments I got the previous year to see how I did with them and what needs tending to make sure they are completed with honor and integrity. The gift of grace that brought me and the other questers to spend six days in the place we ended up in brings overwhelming gratitude. Why? Because it was truly awesome. The power of the fierce wind at night. The stunning silence when the wind stopped and no birds sang, no planes flew over, was mind-blowing. Awesome. I could hear the earth, the cosmos, breathing.

The vast vista looking down from the mountains above Joshua Tree down into the expansive desert terrain below, the cholla cactus, the Joshua Trees, the amazing shapes and configurations of huge boulders, the high-flying flocks of ravens, crow, vultures and occasional hawks or eagles, the fantastic cloud formations gliding across the sky, all wove together to create a tapestry of beauty that was filled with medicine power and teachings. Here is a poem that reflects my experience.

winds stop
silence profound
no planes
rocks abide
silent symphony
listen -

Great Grandmother Growth
Takutsi Nakaway in Huichol
can you hear Her breathe?

aikido teaching
“move like clouds”
Tao flow
blending
slowly
tenderly
gently
softly

Joshua trees
little bees
coyotes howl
vultures
twirl
“not yet!”
says I"

time
will
come
but
today
let us
pray

today
let us
play

Mythologist Michale Meade advises that “in troubled times, follow the Way of the Heart, heal wounds and find visions trying to enter the world to heat its wounds.” This is precisely what happens for me on quest time and I get that it is not just me that this happens for when I listen to questers share their experience on our last night together. Mouse appears in the sacred fire as one person talks about mouse, eagle appears in the fire as I listen to the words of each relative who was courageous enough to undertake the experience. Three generations. Three men and three women. A twenty year old just starting out, a man and a woman in their thirties, a man and a woman in their fifties and the old codger, me, bringing up the rear.

Medicine from altered state of dreams and sharing of other questers, medicine that soaks into us from the power that is there in the ancient lands carved by millions of years of weather, and rock-spirits, what the elders call the Stone People, the oldest people, the ones who carry the history of the planet, pour their rejuvenating energy into opened minds, bodies, hearts and spirits. It fills me up. Charges my batteries by plugging into the main power source for days and nights on end under star filled skies or dark skies threatening to wreck storm upon us that miraculously, prayers answered, pass us bye and allow questers time to head out to their spots that have called them and set up their tents without the challenges of storming rain and wind. Prayers answered allowing us to have time around Tatewari, Grandfather Fire Spirit, for our ceremonies, our meals and hanging out in leisure after return from our time in solitude and breaking fast. Praise be for all these gifts of grace. Praise be for your prayers and support. A million thank-you's.

Sharing some medicine that came through that might have meaning for you:

***** In troubled times with many threats to life and the truth that no matter what you do you won’t survive, focus on thrive instead, which means finding what feeds the soul of your heart and the heart of your soul for that is what will bring you joy, peace and fulfillment.

***** The importance of honoring the spirits and ancestors of the lands where you live so for us in the desert it is the Luiséno, the Serrano, the Cupenos, the Cahuilla, the Mojave and the Chemehuevi.

***** A new spirit ally, the Splicer, whose medicine empowers my ability to cut through obstacles.

***** Dream guidance to live integrity of love light that can disarm potential threats.

***** Taking greater ownership of the download I have received from the Starlight Ohana Transmission on Psychedelic Shamanism.

***** Dream guidance raising the reality that we have stolen from people of color and the question of how to repay for what we have stolen.

***** Dream guidance on the importance of not responding to challenging others (right-wing Proud Boys, fundamentalist Christians evangelicals pushing their way as the only way, or whatever it is for you) with polarizing judgment, but instead, by trying to understand through dialogue what experiences and wounds have fueled their fears and what needs they are trying to meet by their actions so we can connect with our shared common humanity

***** And lastly, also from the Dreaming, of which quest time is such a rich stimulus for what is called Big Dreams, comes this message:

You are capable of amazing things your rational mind and ego-based identity doesn't think is possible. YOU are amazing. Do not drop garbage thoughts on your divine self or on other divine beings tarnishing our shared divinity. Instead, come back to the wisdom guidance frog gives mouse in the Seven Arrows story.

Crouch down as low as you can go, then jump as high as you can go. The wind will catch you and carry you up. Do not be afraid. Trust. Let Go. Relax. Surrender. You are being carried. You are more than you think you are.

May this brief sharing of this year’s vision quest medicine support you in your daily vision questing with the challenges and joys of your life. May we all show up to do our part to perceive, understand and live from the truth of who we are, and what we are, honoring the purpose of our being here doing our part to help heal the Sacred Hoop of Live and create the kind of healthy and just, peaceful and harmonious, beautifully diverse, WinWinWorld we are capable of creating.

Next year, Spirit willing, back to the sacred High Desert for quest number fifty. May it be so!

How to Make a Prayer Arrow

The Prayer Arrow ceremony is a tradition taught to me by my Huichol mentor. It is a ceremony for planting prayers of gratitude and seeds of intention. My family and I do this every New Year, and I invite you to join me as we move into this New Year.

You can fill it with prayers on your own, or invite family and friends to contribute their prayers. Juice up your prayer arrow with gratitude, love, and intentions. Plant your arrow into the Earth on New Year’s Day.

May this year bring more love, kindness, peace, and justice into your life and our one, shared world. Dearest Relatives,

The Prayer Arrow ceremony is a medicine ritual taught to me by my Huichol mentor, during my X# of years going on pilgrimage. It is a ceremony for planting prayers of gratitude and seeds of intention.

You can use the Prayer Arrow ritual to consciously transition into a new year, clarifying and strengthening your intentions with the powers of creation. 

My family and I do a Prayer Arrow ceremony every New Year, and I invite you to join me as we move into 2023. Below is a video on how to make a prayer arrow for the New Year.

You can fill it with prayers on your own, or invite family and friends to contribute their prayers. Juice up your prayer arrow with gratitude, love, and intentions. Plant your arrow into the Earth on New Year’s Day.

May you weave wisely, plant strongly and act on your guidance with compassion, kindness and joy.

All Blessings for the new year coming and your fullest blossoming and greatest good.